I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
