How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
