how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize