my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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