she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
