Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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