lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
