he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize