Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
