went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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