Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
