we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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