At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
