And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
