apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
