I'll bet she douches with gravy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
