new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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