hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
