I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
