Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
