See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
