Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
