That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
