what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I AM VODKA MAN
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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