Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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