just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
