I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
