you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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