And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
