I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
