There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
