I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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