Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
