feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
