this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
