A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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