is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it's great music for shaving your balls
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize