I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
