I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
