If that was your dad, he is hot
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
