i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
