K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
