I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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