my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
