Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
