sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
