matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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