I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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