i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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