Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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