Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
