I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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