you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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