I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
