he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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