I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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