Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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