Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
