Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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