So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
