you would pick up someone in the library
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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