Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize