Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
