If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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