My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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