I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
