you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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